Jessica Grace Coleman

Welcome to The Travel Transformation Podcast, where we talk all things travel and all things transformation. My name is Jessica Grace Coleman and I'm your host, and today I'm talking to Violetta Znorkowski, founder and facilitator at Expand and Impact, a school of emotional mastery and embodied self-leadership dedicated to guiding women towards the impact and inner peace they desire. Violetta is also a speaker, podcast host, and avid adventurer.

In this episode we discuss her business, Expand and Impact, and all the amazing work she's doing there, the decade she spent travelling and working in experiential and outdoor education, how to be comfortable with discomfort and how to step outside your comfort zone in a healthy way, how confidence is something that is within us and that just needs to be uncovered, and so much more. 

I really enjoyed my conversation with Violetta. I love the way she sees the world and the power we have within us to go out there and pursue our dreams, and I think this interview will really get you thinking. So let's get straight to it. 

Hi Violetta, welcome to the podcast! Thank you so much for coming on today.

Violetta Znorkowski

Thank you so much for having me, Jessica. I'm really excited to dive into all things transformation and travel with you.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Yay. Great. Okay, so to start with, for our listeners, can you give us a bit of background information about you? So, where you're from, what you do, and a little bit about your story so far?

Violetta Znorkowski

Sure. Thanks. My name is Violetta and I am the founder and facilitator of Expand and Impact. And that is an experience-based company where, specifically, I work with women, guiding them in the skills that really shape how we feel about ourselves, cultivating deeper states of self-trust and confidence so that we can really elevate ourselves as leaders and have a positive impact in the world, in our relationships and in our lives. 

And it's experience-based, like I mentioned, so we really work on taking information and turning it into tangible actionable and embodied practices. And it was actually inspired from my over a decade of travelling professionally, which is how I landed here. So I come from the outdoor and experiential education industry, which I was so privileged to be able to see many parts of the world and travel for my entire twenties. And also I noticed a gap in what I was teaching and what I was experiencing of how to bring those states of awareness and joy that you experience during travelling back into your everyday life. 

So that's kind of the foundation behind what I do today. And I partner specifically with those high-achieving, motivated, and ambitious women who are goal-driven and really looking to have an impact without losing their inner peace in the process.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Wow, I love this so much. Just going back to you, you said it started with your decade travelling and working in experiential and outdoor education, is that right? So can you tell me a little bit more about what this is, for someone – like, I'd never heard of this term – so could you tell me what it actually entailed?

Violetta Znorkowski

Yeah, definitely. And I'm so glad you asked because before I got into it, I didn't know that it existed. I studied something completely different in university, went through a program and got enough qualifications, and found this industry when I moved to Australia. And it was supposed to be a six-month experience and it turned into over eight years of living overseas. 

But experiential and outdoor education is essentially working with students and adults in the outdoor and nature setting. So, leading them on different expeditions – for example, hiking in the jungle in Vietnam, rock climbing, backpacking – and really using those challenges and coming into resonance with what it means to challenge your comfort zone and how you can do that safely, sustainably, and use it as a tool for growth, for transformation and for personal empowerment in your life. So I spent my entire twenties working all over the world, teaching emotional intelligence through the outdoors, challenging your comfort zone and leadership skills. 

Jessica Grace Coleman

Wow. And how did you get into that? You mentioned a six-month overseas experience, what was meant to be six months, and then went on to eight years. How did you get into this? You said you had studied something completely different, so what was the turning point to get into this?

Violetta Znorkowski

I'm really glad you asked because I'm a deep believer that the things that we're interested in and that light us up are uniquely made for us. And as a little girl, I always knew deep down in my soul that I wanted to travel and adventure and get paid for it. And I had no idea how I could make that possible. But little me who doesn't know the big bad world yet, was like, yeah, of course I'm going to make this happen, this is what I want to do. 

So I studied marketing and communications and Italian in university, and while I was in university, I found this outdoor program that I joined and that I was a part of where we would lead weekend trips in nature for the students and the school staff, the teachers of the university. And through that I accumulated experiences in, for example, rock climbing, kayaking. I was a kayaking guide for a really long time. And we learned how to facilitate experiences, how to facilitate people understanding their emotions and really using challenges in their life and on these trips for growth. And this was just something that I did, aside from studying. And one thing led to another. 

And I was introduced at one point to a friend of a friend who went to Hawaii and worked in this job, who met another person who worked for this outdoor adventure company. And when she told me about it, it was this light-bulb moment where I'm like, that's it, that's a way that I can actually bring more adventure into my life and travel, which is what I really wanted to do. Funny I ended in education, because my motivations were completely selfish. Like, I wanted to do it for me, but it's funny how the world works. 

And then I found, when I was 21, my first outdoor job for the summer in Colorado in the US. And from there I gained even more experience. And when I was working a job in New York City, I would have a lot of downtime, and it was really just unfulfilling. It was an internship that was supposed to transition into a career after graduation. And I would look for jobs in my ‘free time’, when you're not supposed to be having free time at work. I would do this sneaky thing. And I found a job in Australia that was aligned with this outdoor program that I worked at and volunteered for. 

And I applied for the job and I got it and I moved overseas at… I must have been 22 in 2016, January 2016. And it was supposed to be a six-month experience working holiday before I moved back to my real life, worked in the city, found a job in Manhattan, and did the thing. And it's been over eight years of diving deeper into this career, exploring myself and finding myself more, and then pivoting into starting my own business. So it's really been synchronicities along the way that's led me here.

Jessica Grace Coleman

I love that so much. I have so many questions that kept popping up while you were talking! Like, you say the synchronicities, sometimes it is that you just know someone who knows someone who knows someone who just happens to make an offhand comment and that just triggers something in your brain and you're like, what? And then you go and do some research and then it can lead to all these amazing things. So I love how it can just be a single moment sometimes that can completely change the trajectory of your life, basically. I love stuff like that. 

So when you applied for this job in Australia for the six months… I mean, you sound like a very adventurous person, but were you at all anxious? Was there anxiety there? Were you nervous about going or were you just like, yeah, jump on a plane and go?

Violetta Znorkowski

Absolutely not. I was definitely not just jumping on a plane. And I have to be really honest about this, because I was really nervous and I did have a lot of fear and a part of me didn't fully feel supported as well in my decision to do that and do this thing that no one really understood in my family. None of my friends were doing it, except… one thing supported me in doing it. My best friend at the time got the same job as me. I told her about it. We were in the outdoor program, so we actually ended up moving together to Australia for that year before we ended up going different ways and living our lives in places that we actually wanted to. So I did go with her, but I remember feeling extremely nervous and really feeling the weight of the uncertainty and the excitement together. 

So it wasn't necessarily an easy departure. The decision was easy because I knew I wanted to do it, but taking the action steps to actually execute it and follow through, that was really terrifying. And that feeling of a lack of support or understanding in my decision to do that did come up as a theme throughout the time I was overseas. And I'm lucky to have the support and the skills to have been able to integrate that. But I think that's something that many people who choose to do things differently experience is the uncertainty, the fear, the excitement, but also the lack of support, because it is an uncommon thing to just leave everything you've known and go across the world for a job or for an adventure. It seems common when you're in a circle of people that do it, but the majority of people aren't, as I suppose, courageous when it comes to making these big moves. So that's loaded and you definitely feel that and you have to work through that as you go, because it doesn't just disappear.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Yeah, definitely. And I think a lot of people, like you say, they might want to do something like this, but they never get around to doing it because of their fear, but also because of the fear of what other people think. And, like you say, it's not the normal thing to do. They worry about what their family or friends think or just society in general, and they're literally stopping themselves from pursuing their dreams because of what they think other people are going to say. And that's a huge thing. 

But I think it's a very good point to make that you can absolutely know that this is meant for you, and you can make the decision super quickly, like you said, and you can be absolutely terrified of going at the same. You know, I think everyone has this to some degree, and it's not a reason not to do it. I've had the same when I've had big trips, or like I did a year abroad in Colorado – you mentioned that earlier – and gone on big trips, solo trips and things like this, and I've wanted to do it so much. But the closer it gets to the departure date, the more terrified you get. And I think some people will get to that point and then just cancel everything. But I think it's important to know that a lot of people feel this way, and they do it anyway, no matter if they have the support or not. And no matter how terrified they're feeling. You can be terrified and excited at the same time. You can know it's for you and also be a bit ‘meh!’ at the same time. You don't have to be feeling like it's 100% perfect and everything is fine before you go. You can just go anyway. And I think that's a good point to make. 

I just wanted to ask you about this experiential and outdoor education a little bit more, because I'm really intrigued. So you mentioned doing things like trekking through the jungle, so can you break that down a bit and say, what would a normal day, what would a typical day be like if you were doing that kind of thing? Let's say trekking through the jungle? Are you doing exercises? Are you trying to physically step outside your comfort zone? What are the aims around that?

Violetta Znorkowski

Yeah, that's a really great question. And the context that I did these types of activities in was through work, right? So I was actually in charge of leading a group of students and educating them and supporting them mentally, emotionally, physically along the way, spiritually along the way. And these expeditions were designed to challenge you, but not in a very in-your-face type of way. So they had an element of community service where we would actually temporarily reside in communities, like indigenous communities throughout Southeast Asia. And I led an expedition in Peru once as well, and we would immerse ourselves in the community and see how we can give back and be of service and also simultaneously learn from the communities that we worked in. That was an important part. 

And then we had the adventure element, which would be something like trekking through the jungle, where we would be with a local guide who supported our experience along the way to navigate the jungle. And just being in this context was challenging in itself. A lot of fears arose for the students, for myself, and we had to sit with it. We had to learn to navigate it because once you're out there, there's no going back. There's only moving forward and accepting and understanding how you can, I suppose, prevail through the challenge and the discomfort that you're facing. 

And also the third element of these expeditions was the fun element. The being in the city, being in Bangkok and experiencing it as a tourist, seeing all of the sights, but also being responsible for finding access to the sights, booking your own accommodation, booking transport. So these weren't expeditions where everything was planned out for you, but they were very interactive with the entire group. So generally there was nothing in terms of preparing. It was more you're on the ground and now what are you going to do about it? You're here, so what now? How are we going to manage this? How are we going to manage expectations? How are we going to continue to follow what excites us, do what we want to do, what interests us as a group or ourselves, and still meet the discomfort? 

That is inevitable when you're doing something different. That is inevitable when you're doing something challenging. You will never get to a place where you're 100% comfortable, but you change your relationship to that discomfort is what I've come to learn in my experience. And that's really what the outcomes of these expeditions were that I led, is taking these steps through the challenges and really intentionally reflecting on them. So not just doing it, but actually sitting down and contemplating: what did we just do and how did that impact me? What do I see around me and what do I do with that information?

Jessica Grace Coleman

Yeah, definitely. And I think you probably just touched on it there, but I know you talk a lot about comfort zones and stepping outside them, and I talk a lot about that as well, to help you grow. So can you tell me what challenging your comfort zone means to you? You kind of did mention it in the context of the trips you were doing and stuff like that, but in someone's everyday life, what would challenging your comfort zone mean and how can we do this safely, like you mentioned?

Violetta Znorkowski

That's a really beautiful question and I think a really important one to highlight because the common rhetoric around comfort zones that I notice is this idea that it has to be extreme. Like, you have to go to the jungle and hike in the jungle in Cambodia. You have to move across the world to challenge yourself, and a lot of the time that can be a really good avenue for growth. And sometimes that could actually set us back and move us backwards from really aligning with the goals that we have for ourselves personally and professionally, until we learn how to really come into resonance with how we experience that discomfort when we are challenging ourselves. 

Because there's a difference between forcing your way out of your comfort zone to grow and also doing it from a safe way that you're flowing with it, where you're dipping your toe in, but you're really anchored in a sense of safety and trust within yourself to be able to figure it out, to be able to handle the challenges and the discomfort you're facing without losing yourself in it, without being overwhelmed and overcome by the experience that we are having… or the wobbles. As humans, we get really wobbly sometimes with our emotions. 

So, in your everyday life, simply noticing that maybe you're having an emotion or you're having a trigger, you're having a reaction. And instead of falling into a pattern of numbing it or avoiding it or having to go on a trip because you need that escape, if you practice being with it for two minutes, that's challenging your comfort zone. That's doing it safely. That's doing it in a digestible way where you're still growing. You can do this wherever you are and you don't need to uproot your life to do it. So it can be taking a different route back home from work, or a different route to go to work, and starting to pay attention to how that is for you. What comes up? Does it feel a bit uncertain when I take that different route? When I make a left instead of a right? What do I notice within myself? Do I notice the landscape around me change? Can I notice that more? Can I tune into the differences and how it's impacting me and then come back to what's familiar? 

So when we do challenge our comfort zones for growth, what we're really doing is expanding our capacity to be with the wobbles of life and to cultivate a deeper sense of joy, fulfilment and belonging without having to be so extreme with it. Because that's not realistic for everyone, and I think that's also important to name, and not everyone wants that is something that I had to come to terms with, like I had to accept, because I love this life but not everyone wants it. So how can it look for you? How can it be by your unique design that will support your wants, your unique desires and the goals that you have for yourself? I hope that answers your question.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Yeah, definitely. I love that. The being comfortable with the wobbles of life. I love that phrase. I talk about similar things because I talk about how travel can be transformative, but when people hear that, they think of hiking the entire Pacific Crest Trail or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, but it doesn't have to be that extreme, that monumental. 

And I say you don't have to travel halfway around the world either to have transformative experiences. You can go half an hour down the road to somewhere you've never been to in your local area and do something different. And it doesn't have to be this huge thing. You can just do baby steps. And, like you say, I think some people get overwhelmed with the idea that they have to do this huge thing, so they just don't try anything, but you can just do tiny little bits at a time. So completely agree with what you just said.

Violetta Znorkowski

Yeah. Can I add something too, Jessica? That's a brilliant point and it's brilliant how you made that connection and really reflected the essence back of what I shared. Because if there is a part of you that does want to do something more adventurous, but you're feeling blocked from taking those big, massive steps, it's actually those little challenges that you do every day or often that expand your ability to hold a bigger action, a bigger transformation and a bigger jump. 

So one of my favourite things – and this is like, before I even moved across the world – I would take myself on dates and I would go sit in a cafe by myself. And I will never forget the first time I did that. I was so self-conscious. I remember walking into the cafe and just thinking, what will these people think of me? I look like a loner, I'm a loser. I'm here by myself. And that inner critic started making up the story that this was an abnormal thing to do. 

And now taking myself out to dinner, taking myself out on dates, is my favourite thing, and I feel just so deeply comfortable in it to just spend that time with myself, journal or people watch. But at first it was extremely uncomfortable, and that's something I didn't need to go across the world to do, but it helped me be brave enough to do something bigger.

Jessica Grace Coleman

I love that. It's like a stepping stone to something bigger, like you say. And I think a lot of people get put off solo travel because it's like a huge, overwhelming thing, but also because they're worried about, what do I do when I need to eat? I don't want to sit in a cafe on my own. It is a thing, and I've been there myself. And you do feel quite self-conscious, especially if you go in and you're like, Hi. And they're like, Are you waiting for someone? And you're like, no, table for one, please. And they're like, for one? Table for one, yeah.

I once booked a hotel in Thailand on my own. I think I accidentally booked the fancy honeymoon suite, I'm not entirely sure – it wasn't that fancy, but it was like the fanciest room. And I got there and the lady was like, Where is your husband? I was, no, no, just me. And she was like, Just you in this room? I was like, Yep, I'm going to have a lovely time, thank you! And you do get used to it very quickly, but at the start, it's a bit like, ‘eek’. But once you do those little things, which aren't that little in the moment, then you can start building up to do more and more things, like you say, and I like what you said about it expanding your capacity to go and do more stuff after that. Definitely. 

So I know you've lived in several countries – you’ve lived in Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, is that right?

Violetta Znorkowski

Yeah, Italy as well.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Great. So what were the biggest hurdles you found moving to these new countries? The challenges you faced? Did you feel like you were stepping outside your comfort zone when you were doing this? Was there any culture shock? What were the biggest obstacles?

Violetta Znorkowski

The biggest obstacles over time, after being exposed to this way of life for many years, was actually the reverse culture shock I experienced coming home. And my uncertainty with how I fit into the world and how I belonged… that was actually my biggest challenge beneath the things that I did on a daily basis, because I got so good at being adaptable, I got so good at being flexible and just sliding into whatever country or culture I was in. And I noticed that I started to feel more at home in a tuk tuk in Thailand on my own, surrounded by strangers, a language that I didn't speak, than actually coming back to the place where I grew up. And that was really challenging. 

And it's also another point of reflection and a point for growth is how do we belong when we have these really beautiful experiences that are really expansive? So actually living in all these different countries, eventually it wasn't challenging, it was exciting, because it felt normal. That was my new normal. And it took some time to learn how to hold both of these parts of myself and both of these worlds internally and find a way to still bring the wealth and the depth of my experience to places and around people that maybe didn't get it. 

The question I pondered for a long time is how do I still belong to my family, for example, when they haven't lived what I lived, when they haven't had these experiences that I have, and when they haven't seen what I've seen? And for many years, that was actually the challenge that I faced the most. And it wasn't really the challenge of being in a foreign country, because that was the new normal. So it was definitely an interesting journey of learning to hold both, learning to integrate it and really do it from a place of self-trust, knowing that I'm not abandoning myself in the process, but that it's okay to be flexible in these situations and around certain people.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Yeah, definitely. So many people I interview say the same thing. They didn't have culture shock when they went to a new place, they had it when they came back and they had the reverse culture shock. And they've been on this amazing, incredible adventure, and then suddenly they're back where they were before. And they're not the same person they were before, but all their family and friends might be the same. And it's hard to talk about it with people who get it and it's hard to know what to do next. 

And, like you say, how to take all the things you learned about yourself and about the world and apply it to… if you go back to a normal routine, say, it's kind of hard to know how to integrate that. So I think it's definitely something everyone deals with when they've gone travelling. 

So let's talk about your business, Expand and Impact. You mentioned it before, but you said it's a school of emotional mastery and embodied self-leadership for motivated women. So for people who have never heard of these terms, can you explain what emotional mastery is and also what you mean by embodied self-leadership?

Violetta Znorkowski

Absolutely. I will start with embodied self-leadership, which is essentially a really cool thing. Travel teaches you to contemplate and integrate into your life self-leadership, really growing intimacy with yourself and being able to lead yourself through challenges and also through pleasure. I think a lot of us as humans are motivated through struggle and through pain and through the discomfort. And one of the qualities that I guide others through, guide women through, is transitioning our leadership to lead from a space of deeper presence, deeper grounding, deeper joy, deeper pleasure. So that it's not something that we earn, it's not a reward, but it's actually our main motivating factor that leads us and guides us. 

So self-leadership, in essence, is your capacity to be able to be with your thoughts, be with your emotions, and to take conscious and intentional action in your life and to notice, perhaps, the places and the moments where you're reacting and growing the internal skill set to be able to create the external results and freedom that you desire. Because it's easy to get sucked into the doing, because it's what we're conditioned to do in society. Do more, you'll be more, you'll be more worthy, you'll be successful. And this way of being helps us as high achievers a lot. It helps us travel. It helps us take risks. It helps us start businesses, rise in our career. And when we don't investigate the motivation that it comes from, it can actually make us really lost. 

And, for me, I ended up through these beautiful years of travel, so much privilege, but I actually ended up getting lost in the travel and losing myself because it wasn't coming from an authentic motivation like it does now. 

So then, emotional mastery is learning to use your emotions as signals in your life of where you can take a little bit of a closer look and see what is being communicated. So instead of pushing and doing all the things that you should, can I use my emotions, can I learn to really expand my capacity of my emotional experience as a human? Do I only feel discomfort when I'm struggling or can I grow my capacity to actually allow things to be easy in my life and can I lead from that space? 

So even using your triggers… triggers are a symptom of something internally that we haven't had a chance to meet yet that may be difficult to hold. Using our triggers and really mastering them and healing them, to be able to lead ourselves with more intention, with more impact, with more presence and grounding, and that's essentially unpacking those two a little bit.

Jessica Grace Coleman

I like what you said about how a lot of us come from a place of we think we should be just focusing on the struggle and the pain and we're just sort of reacting to the bad things that happen to us, whereas we should allow ourselves to actually go after things that are pleasurable to us, that we do enjoy, and proactively go after what we want instead of just reacting to things. But I think a lot of people grow up just thinking that's life, like life is hard, who am I to want more or to believe that I can have an enjoyable life? And surely the whole point of life isn't to struggle and to be in pain. What would the point of that be? 

So I love things like this and people who have businesses like this who actually help people look inward. And I think a lot of people find it difficult to actually sit with their thoughts and their feelings, and actually just be in them, and so many of us are just too busy to do that or we think we are reacting to things. We go through life doing, like you say, rather than being, and it can be really uncomfortable for a lot of people to just sit and actually figure out what is actually going on here. It's really hard. So it's great that there are services like this that help. 

So how do you actually help people? Do you have one on one programs, do you have group trainings? What do you offer through your business?

Violetta Znorkowski

Yes, so I offer one on one support facilitation, small group trainings, and then also one-off workshops and specific modalities. I know my background is outdoor and experiential education, but I'm also trained as a holistic psychotherapist, so I merge both of these worlds together. And what makes these experiences unique, through Expand and Impact, is that we really break it down and experience the modalities, the tools, the techniques, and the theories. 

So a lot of people, for example, know fight or flight, right? Fight. Flight. Freeze. We've heard this, it isn't new information for many of us, but how do we actually track that within ourselves? How do we actually know how that's impacting us? And what can we do to regain control and mastery over ourselves and our physiology and our nervous system and our minds, our thoughts, and our emotional landscape? 

So it's through those three means, the one on one small group and one-off workshops, and all of them focus on the experience. So through mind, body, and somatic integration, which is the sensations that we notice within our body, and really uncovering your own unique blueprint of what works for you, depending on your own unique history and experience as a human. So yeah, it's really awesome. I really love the work I do.

Jessica Grace Coleman

I can tell! Yeah, it sounds great. So what would you say to someone who is listening to this? And they think, this sounds really interesting, but I don't feel like I have the confidence in me to try this. It's so outside what I've ever done before. It's not something people like me do. We're saying like society's expectations. If you've grown up not doing any of this kind of stuff and you're really interested in it, but you're a bit anxious, what would you say to them?

Violetta Znorkowski

I love this invitation, and I want to say that you can choose to be the first person in your family to ask these bigger questions, because I am actually the first person in my family to ask these bigger questions. And what a beautiful privilege that is. What a beautiful privilege that we have been born into a time where we can listen to podcasts, get inspired, and contemplate: what do I actually want? As opposed to what do I feel obligated to do, what do I think I should do? And simply staying with that curiosity and knowing that you don't have to have the answers because we're not taught the answers. And that's a beautiful opportunity to follow your curiosity, to be led to those answers. 

And as far as the confidence piece, this is such an interesting concept, because contrary to popular belief – and this is informed through the psychosomatic work that I do – confidence isn't something that you necessarily build, it's something that you uncover. So our conditioning, our experiences, the hurts that we've experienced, the disappointments, those things have shielded our confidence. So it's something that we uncover. It's already there within you. 

When you look at a child, they are the most confident little humans in the world. And when they fall down, they cry, they cry it out, they have this big release with their body and then they forget and they're back playing. As adults, the more aware we become and the more life experiences we have, that's actually what makes us harden a little bit. It's what makes us close off from the world. So that confidence is there within you. It just needs to be excavated, it needs to be liberated, and it's absolutely accessible to any person who is curious enough, because you have to be curious. That's the only prerequisite. And if you're listening to this podcast, you already are curious. So congratulations, you're here.

Jessica Grace Coleman

Yeah, I was going to say that if you're already listening to these podcasts, you're hearing about these services, these websites, these businesses, that you can actually go and transform yourself through them, and just knowing about them is half the battle because a lot of people who aren't listening to these podcasts won't even know that they're there. So that's a good point. 

And then I love the idea that confidence is already in you. And, like you say, you can see that with kids. Like you say, it's there, it's inherent. Everyone had it to start with. It's just the experiences we've been through that have covered it up. And I like the idea that you can uncover it a layer at a time. And the thought that it's already there in you, I think is a lot more comforting than the idea that it's something external you have to grab and hold onto, like it's already there. And I think it gives people permission more to actually try and uncover it, knowing that it's already there and it's not this huge thing that they have to go and discover on the top of a mountain or something, it's already there. So I love that idea. I think it's such a good mental image as well, of just unpeeling the layers and it's already there within you. I love that. 

I was looking at your website and I loved when you said: when you reclaim your time and your energy, you are simultaneously changing the narrative for all future generations of working women. We're challenging the status quo like many women before us, and closing the gender gap from the inside out by starting with ourselves. I love this. Can you expand on this a bit? Is it something you've always felt passionate about?

Violetta Znorkowski

I feel a tingle as I hear you reflect that, and part of me is like, yeah, let's do that! How exciting that we live in a world where we're allowed to dream this big, of closing the damn gender gap from the inside out. That just makes me so stoked. 

I didn't always feel this. I didn't always know this. I did mention that I'm definitely someone that learns through struggle. I learned through pain. And oh boy, did I have to hit a rock bottom to really see myself, to really get intimate with how I was actually deflecting responsibility, where I was outsourcing my power and where I was making excuses. Which is ironic, because from the outside looking in, I looked really brave. There's not many people that spend their entire twenties travelling and working internationally. And that's why I say that confidence is uncovered. Because from the outside looking in, oh, boy, did I look confident. But on the inside, I was scared. I felt insecure. I was comparing myself to people, and I was afraid that someone was going to call me out or I wasn't going to fit in anymore, or people didn't like me. 

And that experience, over the years, accumulated within me. And I internalised the stress. I internalised these thought processes, this lower self-image, if you will. And I had a bit of a rock bottom that took me about two years to recover from, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, all of the things. I was working in Hong Kong at the time, and the stress of doing it differently became too much. The responsibility I had on my shoulders became too much. And also the gender discrimination that I experienced became too much. 

So I did work in a lot of developing world countries where many women don't have many rights. And coming into these countries as a privileged white woman and still experiencing discrimination and a lack of acceptance where I felt like I had to fight and push to have my ideas heard really showed me how much more work we have to do as a humanity and also how much power we have to impact those things and how much power as individuals we have to impact the systems that keep us small. The systems that condition us to outsource our personal power outside of ourselves. That teach us to claim our confidence and self-worth outside of ourselves. 

Because when we can reclaim those things, when we can really lead from a space of deeper relaxation, deeper rest, deeper calm, joy, that's what has that impact. That is what radiates. Fear spreads. But this kind of confidence from within, really developing a self-trust that your ideas are worthy of being heard, that you are worthy of taking up space, imagine how your life would change if you made decisions and led from that energy. And then it ripples outward, and maybe you uncover that actually, you are really passionate about certain things, and you want to take a frontline role and be an advocate. 

I'm more of a behind-the-scenes person, helping these things be uncovered. But I also didn't know that this is what I wanted to do until I knew that this was what I wanted to do. And that came with a lot of internal introspection and internal growth and also releasing a lot of ideas and beliefs and identities that didn't belong to me and that I didn't choose. I'm sure you can hear my excitement as I share this, but we as individuals have so much power in really having influence over how we feel and how our life looks, but we have to start from inside. And then it trickles into the external results, external courage, external freedom that we want. But it has to start from inside, because then no one has the power to take it away from you.

Jessica Grace Coleman

It's so true, and like you say, we have the power to do this, but so many people – women in particular – don't even realise that we do have it. So that's why businesses such as yours are so important, to actually let people know that they can do that and then give them the tools to actually go out there and do it. And yeah, being worthy, feeling worthy, is such a huge thing, isn't it? With anyone. But I think specifically, like you were saying, women, if they're in male-dominated industries or in countries where they don't have as many rights or any rights, it's definitely a huge topic that I'm glad you covered on your website. And I know it sounds like you cover it in your work and stuff like that as well. So I love all that. 

So we're coming towards the end here. I asked you where your favourite places in the world are, and I know it's really hard to choose, and you said the Dolomites in Italy, Peru, and Bali. Can you tell me why these places are so special to you?

Violetta Znorkowski

That was an impossible question. Absolutely not a fair one! I was like, well, from which angle? Where I like to luxuriate, where I like adventure, where culture and art hit, these are all different locations, but I did choose the three. So it was the Dolomites in Italy, Bali, and did I say Peru? Yes, because those three stood out to me as I was reflecting on your question. Because of how they make me feel, and they make me feel in different ways, and they light up these different parts of me and these different parts of my identity. 

So in Peru, I had the most amazing experience on this five-day backpacking trip. I was at work at the time as well, and it was one of the most remote hikes I've ever done. And just the blend of the culture, the people, the food, the climate, the landscape… it really made an impression on me. 

And Italy, that region in Italy also ignited that adventurous spirit in me. And I also used to live in Italy and I speak Italian so it kind of connects that part of me. It's the student that wanted to learn Italian, wanted to learn another language, and loves to be immersed in nature and these big beautiful jagged mountains that are very unique. 

And Bali is where I go to feel at home. It's where I go to the yoga studio, eat healthy food, and just luxuriate, where I'm on my motorbike. And it's changed now compared to the first couple times I've been to Bali. It's definitely different vibes now but it connects me with the part that loves to luxuriate, loves beautiful things, loves to do yoga and eat good food and just feel completely free and connected. And the people there are so beautiful, the culture is so beautiful and so welcoming. It's one of the most welcoming cultures I've ever experienced.

Jessica Grace Coleman

I love that. I have been to Bali but only for a few days and it was a few years ago now so it was before all the digital nomad hotspots started popping up, so I can assume that it's very different now. 

Now, I know you've got a free checklist to help adventurous women create inner balance. Can you tell me more about this and where people can go to get it?

Violetta Znorkowski

Sure, you can go to the link on my Instagram to get that or just send me a DM, even – send me a message and I'll happily send it. And it is essentially a checklist of different experiences that the majority of us experience about ourselves, and how we can shift our emotional, mental, and energetic state to be able to really create lasting changes and results in how we want to feel, the patterns that we want to step away from, that we're working so hard from. 

And it helps you gain clarity on what isn't you. For example, your triggers, overworking, anxiety, procrastination, anger. These things are so overpowering sometimes in our system that we identify with them and we think that this is who we are. But actually, when you start to learn about your nervous system and the impact it has on your mental state, on your emotional state, you come to learn that these are simply symptoms on the outside that are covering a really powerful, beautiful, and unique individual whose baseline is joy, whose baseline is ease, whose baseline is presence and grounding. And yeah, it tells you actionable steps of how to shift different states to the ones you want. So when you're feeling angry, how do you notice that in your body and then what can you do about it to shift into releasing that trigger or that emotional reaction?

Jessica Grace Coleman

That sounds great. I'll make sure to put the link in the show notes as well if people want to go directly to that. Okay, so I have two last quick questions, and I'll put these in the show notes as well, but can you tell us where people can find and follow you online? And then is there anything else you want to mention or any last message you want to get across before we go?

Violetta Znorkowski

Sure. If you are interested in connecting, I love to have conversations and get to know the people who are interested in this work and simply have a chat. You can find me on Instagram @expand_and_impact or all of the social platforms there through that domain. That's the company name. Or on LinkedIn, if that's your jam, my name Violetta Znorkowski. And yeah, that's basically all the places you can find me. Or you can listen to my podcast, Expand and Impact Podcast, where we talk about the intersection between personal development and gender equality and how to have impact and inner peace in your life. 

And the last question, a message to leave behind, I think to tie things in together, since we talked about discomfort a lot and challenging yourself in your comfort zone, when you can become comfortable with the uncomfortable, that's where your personal freedom lies. That's where your power lies to really transform how you experience yourself, how you experience others, the courage you put behind your actions. And yeah, I will leave you with that.

Jessica Grace Coleman

I love that. Could not agree more. It's a perfect place to end this podcast. I've really enjoyed talking to you. I’m now inspired and empowered to go out there and get stuff done. So thank you very much and thank you for coming on today!

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